I Don T Know Who the Father of My Baby Is
"should I tell the other man that I was mistaken and apologise that he is non the begetter? Photo: Getty Images
For many women, falling significant is a wonderful time, it'due south often carefully planned and both parents are committed and excited to come across their new baby.
But that is not always the case, for many reasons, and as this new mom wrote to explicate to New24, her situation has her wondering if she did the right thing.
Read her story here, and so discover out what the professionals advise in this tough situation.
Conceal this secret for a lifetime?
"Please, I demand advise. I was so confused when I found out I was pregnant and who the real father is. So I told them both!
My boyfriend is so responsible and never doubts me. The other one has his ain family unit and really wants to protect his reputation, but took the responsibility likewise and is secretly giving fiscal support to me.
Months passed, the state of affairs was consistent. Fifty-fifty without Deoxyribonucleic acid testing, I'm sure that my fellow is the real male parent of my child.
My question is, should I tell the other man that I was mistaken and apologise that he is non the father? Or tell him I choose to stay away from him and never accept any support, since he advised me to marry someone else?
Should I go on my life with my boyfriend and our child, and conceal this secret for a lifetime?"
Psychological trauma
Nosotros asked Felicity Guest, founder of Kid Maintenance Difficulties South Africa, for insight.
"I would suggest she and her boyfriend practise a DNA test, then everybody is clear and it tin can't be used at a future engagement against either of them," she advises.
"We don't know what the future holds, should they break up any doubtfulness almost paternity can concur up a maintenance order every bit DNA will probably be asked for," she says, calculation " and more importantly the child should know who their biological father is."
Invitee adds that the male parent should exist certain information technology is his child, and urges her to consider the psychological trauma of thinking it is his child, and it is not.
She warns as well that whoever is not the male parent in this situation can legally claim dorsum all the coin that he has given while thinking the child was his.
Challenge dorsum maintenance
Linda Matshoza, a family police force lawyer at Police FOR ALL told Parent24 that at that place is not really precedent for challenge dorsum the money paid in error.
"In the event that there is an maintenance lodge in identify and paternity is disputed, the best cause of action for the father would be to brand a civil claim against the mother," she advises.
He would then use the amount he was paying in terms of an order to quantify a ceremonious claim. If there is no order it will be more than hard to quantify and the male parent may have to employ the services of someone to assist in quantifying how much they may have contributed over the by months, or years.
"It would obviously be helpful in the father's claim if they accept proof of certain contributions fabricated," she says, adding that it is quite a difficult activeness to make.
Proof of paternity
"However the best thing whatever father tin can practise in an instance where they are uncertain of paternity is to request a paternity test. Although it may cause disharmonize initially if the exam is peradventure refused by the female parent; the father has the last option of withholding maintenance whilst issue of paternity is in question," she explains.
The onus would and then be on the mother to arroyo the maintenance court, in which instance the father can raise the question of paternity and the maintenance dispute would be placed on hold pending paternity results.
"If the mother once again refuses the paternity test then the presumption is in favour of the father that the child is not theirs and the female parent will exist unable to merits maintenance," she says.
Enquire united states! Do you have a legal question you need help with? Share your questions via email at chatback@parent24.com and we may speak to a legal professional on your behalf. Bearding contributions are welcome.
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Source: https://www.news24.com/parent/family/relationships/i-was-so-confused-about-who-the-real-father-is-so-i-told-them-both-now-what-20201106
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